||[Sep. 21st, 2009|01:32 am]
Spinning 45 Ballerina
Unrequited love is unbearable even when you don't have any tender feelings to get hurt! Or to quote Morrissey, who perhaps put it more poignantly, "rejection is one thing, but rejection from a fool is cruel." I've written about the pain of rejection before, for it is a familiar subject, my stand on it being that it hurts far more to be cast aside by someone you don't like, then someone you do. I would just like to know what it is about me that makes silly irrelevant boys want to tell me that it's not me for whom they're heart is beating.
I've decided that I'm going to be forthcoming in the future, so fuck allure, fuck mystery. I'll just tell people straight off when I'm not in love with them! Beat them to it. Sometimes I'm sure I'll seem a little bit conceded, so bee it. I don't know if I could recover from another "I'm not in love with you"-speech from someone I don't give a shit about. Why do these people go out of they're way to brake my heart? in my experience it not something one relishes. I don't even mind having my crushes crushed to much, it's not like fun or anything, but I think it's heaps better then this. At least that's real pain, it's hurt I can brag about. Not this shit, this is a new badge for my leather jacket that says unlovable. (and with all the rejection I've had you certainty didn't need to tell me.)
I kinda view myself as this jolly fat man character, at my best hilarious and charming just not in a very sexy way. I do even sort of like myself. It's in the attitude and I've chosen mine. Some boys just need to understand that they shouldn't take even the love of a fat girl for granted.