|deja vue: it's all trite
||[Feb. 13th, 2007|09:42 pm]
Spinning 45 Ballerina
Coincidence is everywhere and everything seems like it‘s tied together right now. I often get that feeling, the feeling that everyone knows everybody, and everyone has been in the same situations as everybody ells a million times. Deja vue, deja vue, and my life is at a sand still.
I feel like I need more people to talk too about things. I don’t think I necessarily want the same things from life as most of my girlfriends and it‘s becoming more and more apparent. I really want to be allowed to be more controversial (/mean and nasty). I guess I want to talk and think more about stuff than other peoples feelings, love and sex and such. I love slander, I love slagging people off and analysing but it doesn’t ever get me anywhere. Met a couple of people lately who feel almost inspiring because they because they discuss issues and not people. Whenever I get to talk to people who care about music, politics, arts or movies I feel, well, great. It doesn’t seem like something one can do with close friends, and maybe thats cause most things have been said... Talking about things is like constructing a utopia, but I won’t pretend I’m not picky about what kind of people I like discussing with. They don’t have to agree, but I don’t really see the point of them if they in any way enter the banal. I realise that I use the word trite more than most, and maybe my idea of a cliché is a bit broader than what’s usual. I think it’s more important to be original than right really... LaLa
In other news I’m alarmed to realise that I’ve started admiring Henrik Ibsen. It’s hard to explain. I won’t even try. Maybe this ties together with the snowball fight? Everything is indeed connected and maybe I’m not that static after all. (Blah, but surely I am)
Surrealistic trip to supermarket yesterday: I try to keep the fact that I’m fat hush-hush you see, so before I took the bus home I snuck into ICA to buy myself First Price cookies. There’s not usually a lot of people in that shop, and this day was now exception, however the first thing I see upon entering is one of my old tutors from university and his girlfriend. I quickly ducked into the isles and narrowly avoid awkward run in of the kind “should I say hello or pretend not the recognize this person?”. When I reached the cookies the excitement of avoiding that guy soon faded, eyeing the bread right next to the cookies was an old acquaintance who I haven’t really talked to in years, I grabbed the cookies and dashed away from him. Reaching the register I realised that the line in front of me was comprised of people from last terms lectures and one of my neighbours. Thinking no more people would learn my shameful secret I thought “this isn’t to bad, nobody even noticed“, then I recognized the guy at the register. It was the boy I did everything but through myself at when Charlotte hosted the singstar party. When I told Geir this story he thought that the really funny part was that probably nobody but me cared that I bought coockies. I know that he is right, but still, there wasn’t one person in the shop I didn’t know from somewhere, and that’s worth a mention, this town isn’t that small;)
Valentines day tomorrow, a day I didn‘t even consider celebrating when I was in a relationship. It’s crap and we all know it, still people insist on the empty gestures and prosaic indoctrination. I know, I’m using big words, you just get on with enjoying getting paid/paying for sex and I’ll just sit in a corner looking bitter. It really is a horrible day if you don’t have anyone to fuck.
If people aren’t up for the quiz I think I’ll go see Happiness and buy myself a rose/rape alarm.
Although it probably didn’t seem like one this is in fact and ego picture post.
how to get perfect curls: perspire for days with your hair in a bundle
mmm: fever and sweat
trying out this evil goth thing... the camera didn't catch it
on that day I bleached my scalp sore this is how pop/mod I looked
luv my new sailors collar