||[Jul. 26th, 2006|03:14 am]
Spinning 45 Ballerina
This entry was actually going to be about what kind of day I had, about the people I met and the stuff I did. About me going to town at two in the afternoon and not leaving until one in the morning, drinking beer al the way trough. But it’s not, it’s going to be about something that happened five minutes ago that scared the shit out of me.
I was walking up towards where I live when a car drove buy and the window was rolled down, this guy stuck his head out and went “stygge kjærring” (=ugly bitch).
It felt like a drive by shooting, (for the first time in my life my jaw really dropped…). I still feel quite numb. The first thing that vent trough my mind was how glad I was I’ve been bullied. I think most slightly drunk girls on there way home would have been less prepared for that. On the other hand it’s been a long time since that hellish everyday and I’m not as prepared as I used to be for that sort of shit.
Then I started thinking about how I deserved it, what and ugly fat bitch I am, and then I got angry at myself for thinking that. When I got home I looked in the mirror and I thought; “fuck it, I’m good looking, maybe I’m fat, but not ugly, and anyways that’s none of your beeswax“. I know my cloths make an easy target, but I recon I‘ll always stand out in a crowd so why not just acknowledge that.
But I can’t help thinking about this boy, who probably is my neighbour, and every time he’s thought that I’m an ugly bitch but hasn’t had a car to hide behind. And that scares me… a lot.
Well any ways
DOWN IN THE PARK WITH SOME FRIENDS OF MINE