|Looking for another fix
||[Mar. 10th, 2011|07:53 pm]
Spinning 45 Ballerina
Oh to be in love, such a high, if I could only stay that way all my life. But it’s hard to stay strung out when you want someone you can’t have, and that just happens to be the story of my life. I won’t complain about that just now, because most people I know feel the same way. But I just happened to get some false hope last month, and it’s the happiest I’ve been for years. It’s not that I’m miserable, far from it, university is running along smoothly, work has never been better, I have a lot of really great friends who I love dearly, and Monki sells fun, affordable, clothes that fit me, there’s just one thing missing; endorphins. When I have someone interesting to talk to, and be attracted to (and touch) everything is so easy. Everyone’s smiles at me, (they must be smiling back), and my brain is in hyper drive, getting up in the morning is easy, my drawings come out better, notes are held longer and insights are more interesting. But like every junkie you come down eventually, and now I can’t sleep at night.
I’ve bought some LPs off ebay, stuff I’ve wanted for years. A couple of days ago I got the first one in the mail. An album called Sleep It Off, by this amazing New Wave Disco femme, Cristina, I’ve coveted it for years. Unfortunately my pretty (useless) record player is feeling confused about it’s identity at the moment, it’s a (cheap ass) record player/radio with built in speakers, that has decided it really only likes being a radio, and now it refuses to give power to the record part of its body. Yesterday, in a semi-hysterical fit I started barging with it in my mind to get it to work. Stuff like “You need to let me listen to this record, I’ve never been able to find the whole thing anywhere before”, “do you realize how many Christina Aguilera tracks I’ve downloaded accidentally in pursuit of this?” or “I'm sorry baby, I’ll take better care of you if you please just work!”. The second I promised to stop pining for someone who is obviously not interested in me the damn thing started working. On hearing the sinister sound of that empty turn table I immediately regretted the deal we’d struck. But what’s a girl to do? Oh and incidently the record turned out not to be that good after all.